


Green Eyed Monster

by ashinae, jay_linden



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-07
Updated: 2009-12-07
Packaged: 2017-10-04 06:03:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashinae/pseuds/ashinae, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jay_linden/pseuds/jay_linden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John didn't like it. Not one bit. And nobody could make him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was one of those worlds where _idyllic_ was an understatement. The place even smelled pretty. Fresh and sunshiny and just all around nice.

The Traian township was full of equally nice people, open and friendly even with the constant threat of the Wraith lingering just there, just outside of everything. They were as friendly as Bergstrom had said they were, offering them food and water, flowers for Teyla, a place for them to sit in the town square as they waited for the magistrate. A small child deposited a cat on Ronon's lap without explanation, then ran off to his mother's side, peeking around her, wiggling chubby little fingers at them in a wave.

"Why did you get a cat?" Rodney asked, in his usual not-all-that-quiet-at-all-actually whisper. "I didn't get a cat. Sheppard didn't get a cat."

"You want the cat?" Ronon asked as he ran a hand down the purring feline's back.

"No, that's not the point, I just don't understand why you got a cat, and I didn't. That's a pretty strange kind of favouritism, don't you think?" Rodney muttered.

Ronon shrugged a bit. "I don't think it's strange."

(John gave Teyla a long-suffering look--she gave him an ever-patient smile.)

"Maybe they thought you looked hungry," Rodney snarked at him.

"Maybe they think you don't deserve a cat," Ronon replied.

"All right, don't make me send you two home," John said, pointing at them.

"What? He started it," Rodney said, pointing back at Ronon.

"Rodney... I'm sure if you wanted, Ronon would let you pet the cat," Teyla suggested.

Rodney huffed and looked away from all of them.

"Would not," Ronon muttered.

John looked up at the ridiculously pleasant blue sky. Not a cloud to be seen. The sun was up at just the perfect angle to spread light throughout the entire town square--and on the tall, handsome, smiling man who approached them through the crowd.

"Welcome, friends," he said. "I am Canoc Parlan, chief magistrate of Traia." When John got to his feet, the man continued, "And you must be Colonel Sheppard." He shook John's hand. "And Doctor McKay, Ronon Dex, and Teyla Emmagan. Welcome. Major Bergstrom spoke very highly of you."

"And he of you," Teyla said, smiling back at the magistrate and standing as well.

Rodney looked bored. Diplomacy wasn't exactly his area.

"That's good to hear," Canoc said. "Come, friends, walk with me. I'll give you the tour and we can discuss trade." He gestured, and as he started to walk, John fell in step with him. "We have food and textiles we would be glad to provide for the City of the Ancestors," he said, "but I cannot imagine it is at all an adequate enough thing to repay you for bringing Dr McKay to look at the devices the Ancestors left behind to safeguard my people."

"Actually, speaking of that," Rodney said, just falling short of interrupting the man, "why don't you show me to the devices right away? After all, you don't need me to discuss trade." Shiny new technology versus long-winded discussion of trade of food and textiles? Easy choice.

"Very well, Doctor," Canoc said. "I'll show you myself--it's not far outside of town. Though we have certainly expanded, we try to stay as close to these devices as we can, in hope that they would protect us when the Wraith return."

"Yes, well... that's possible. Not exactly likely, but it is possible," Rodney said, moving up closer to Canoc as they kept walking. "Obviously there are devices that can protect from the Wraith, when they're not completely based on folk stories and superstitious nonsense--"

"Rodney," Teyla said firmly, before she smiled at Canoc. "We're very pleased that you've asked for our help. I'm sure Doctor McKay will do everything he can."

And if he didn't, John was sure he could encourage Rodney to do so.

"And we will all be very grateful," Canoc said. "We will do whatever we can to repay you for your assistance." He looked at Rodney and gave him a brilliant smile.

"Yes, well, that's wonderful," Rodney said, looking back at Canoc and smiling in return, if not quite as glowingly. "Very much appreciated."

"And there it is," Canoc said, indicating the crumbling stone structure containing several pieces of Ancient technology. "The Sanctuary. The Guardians, Auron and Sabin, will be able to keep an eye on you, Doctor McKay. Let them know if you need anything."

"Excellent--thank you," Rodney said, clapping his hands together and looking like he was practically itching to get to it. "Well, I don't want to keep the rest of you from your thrilling... trade negotiations, so I'll just... right." He reclaimed the bag that Ronon had been carrying for him and headed toward the structure.

"If you need anything, Doctor McKay," Canoc called after him, "anything at all."

"Yes... yes, of course!" Rodney called back, waving his hand about demonstratively.

Teyla looked over at John, managing not to smile. Somehow. "Perhaps Ronon should keep an eye on him. In case... well. In case."

"Probably a good idea," John said. "Ronon, why don't you stay here with Rodney?"

Ronon looked up from petting the cat. "Sure," he said. Anything would be better than taking part in the negotiations.

Teyla smiled at Ronon, then turned her attention back to Canoc. "I believe you mentioned a tour?"

*

"I don't like him," John said quietly to Teyla. The sun was beginning to set; the sky was beginning to take on a gorgeous golden sort of hue. John didn't like the sunset, either. It was too _nice_.

"Do you think he might be untrustworthy in some way? Not what he seems?" Teyla asked.

"Exactly," John said. He glanced over his shoulder (yeah, real subtle there), and took Teyla's arm, drawing her a little further away from the crowd of people. "Nobody's that nice all the time."

Teyla let him draw her away, looking back toward the crowd, a thoughtful expression on her face. "I'm not certain you're right about that, John. Katie Brown, for example. She's particularly nice, all the time."

"Well, she's different."

"You aren't just saying that because Katie Brown is from Earth, are you?"

John fidgeted and looked away. "Of course not."

Teyla held back a sigh. "I'm not sure being nice is a reason to suspect someone."

"And everything here is just... neat. Neat and perfect and tidy," John pointed out. "Someone might as well be holding up a sign that says 'it's a trap'."

"You've said that every time we've been somewhere that is... what was the word Doctor Beckett used.... idyllic. Every time we've been somewhere idyllic since the Genii homeworld."

John's eyes narrowed as he looked back at the Traians gathered about the town square, setting out a feast to celebrate the remarkably easy trade agreement they'd hammered out. "Maybe they're just like the Genii," he said.

"If they are, I'm certain that we'll discover that soon enough. But Major Bergstrom spent a great deal of time with them, and seemed quite sure."

"And he said that they wanted to negotiate specifically with us," John said. "And now we're all probably dead idiots for being here."

"Rodney does have a reputation," Teyla pointed out. "As does our team."

John was grasping at straws. "Maybe they won't let us leave."

She looked curiously at him. "Are you bored, Colonel Sheppard?"

"What? No. We had a good day. It's nice here. I just don't like _him_."

"You just seem very certain that something dangerous or sinister is happening. And usually, it's Rodney who's concerned, or Ronon who has a bad feeling about someone, and they seem very relaxed around the magistrate, and the people here," Teyla said.

"I can't have a bad feeling sometimes, too?"

"Of course. It's not... standard."

"Good, then," John said, and turned to watch as Rodney and Ronon came back into the town. And Canoc immediately went over to them, greeting Rodney in particular very warmly.

John frowned. A lot.

"He seems perfectly nice. And very fond of Rodney," Teyla said, in an undertone.

"Yeah," John said, "very fond." And he didn't like it. Not one bit. And nobody could make him.

Teyla hid another sigh.

"Come on," John said, and urged her over. He didn't want to leave Canoc alone with Rodney any longer than he needed to. "So how'd the work go?" he asked, very loudly, as he approached. "Any luck getting things up and running?"

Rodney had been in the middle of a long and very excited monologue that he was directing at Canoc, complete with hand gestures. "Colonel--I was just explaining that they might actually have something here that's not superstition or some absurd and completely implausible folk tale," he said, turning to John very briefly, then back to Canoc. "I need more time--more equipment, and a lot more coffee, but I think it's possible that there might be something very worth studying here."

"That's wonderful, Doctor McKay," Canoc said, clasping his shoulder. "Wonderful. Anything at all you need, we will provide for you. But first..." He gestured to the great tables of food. "Will you join us for our evening meal?"

Rodney looked at the tables that were practically _groaning_ with food. "Oh... oh, I think I could find the time for that, yes."

Right. Feed Rodney, he'd follow you anywhere. John scowled.

Thank goodness they had to go home tonight to get equipment for Rodney.

Before long, Rodney was settled in at a table with more than his fair share of the food on a plate, still talking a mile a minute, even while he ate. "So I really think I need to get right back to it--I think I'm already fairly close to something brilliant."

"You'll be able to get right back to it tomorrow," John said. Of course, he intended to have an epiphany sometime between now and then, about why they could never, ever return here and somehow manage to lose the planet's address from their database.

Rodney shook his head, swallowing an impossibly large bite of bread. "Ridiculous. I've written down everything I need, and even Zelenka should be capable of putting that together. I can manage find on what I've got now to start with."

"We should go home and report to Elizabeth," John said.

Ronon looked over at him as though he'd sprouted a second head.

"I'm sure that you and I could take care of that, Colonel," Teyla suggested. "We don't all need to go back."

"There, see? Settled. Excellent," Rodney said, getting up, plate still half-full. "I'm just going to take this back to the site and get back to it then. See you tomorrow. Canoc!" he called, heading over to him.

John watched Rodney walk away and Canoc follow him, with an expression of mingled horror, anger, and disbelief. He looked at Ronon, who appeared to be about to say something, and said, "You stay here and keep an eye on Rodney."

"I--"

"Keep him out of trouble."

"You--"

"And keep an eye on Canoc."

"_Sheppard_."

"What?"

"Eat your dinner." Ronon got up, filled his plate a little more, then followed Rodney and Canoc away.

John looked like someone had just kicked his dog.

Teyla reached over and patted him on the hand.

It seemed like the thing to do.

*

"Surely you must be exhausted, Doctor McKay," Canoc said. Then he stifled a yawn.

"What? No, no, no, no, no. Five days on amphetamines and caffeine is exhausted. This... this is just... I need to rest my eyes for a moment," Rodney said, leaning back and rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Doctor." Canoc approached, stifled another yawn, and put his hand on Rodney's shoulder. "Would you not work better on a good night's sleep?"

"Really, I'm fine," Rodney shook his head. "Just... okay, I've probably got some time, right? Where's Ronon?"

"I think he's dozing," Canoc said.

"Am not." Ronon got to his feet, stretched his shoulders and neck, and looked at Rodney. "You look terrible. Go get some sleep."

"You know, in some cultures, it's considered polite to _not_ tell people that they look terrible when they've been working for twelve hours straight. You might want to consider that," Rodney told him.

Ronon shrugged. _Whatever_. Sheppard did tell him to keep an eye on Rodney.

"You need to sleep, Doctor," Canoc said. "There's no use working yourself to utter exhaustion just for us."

"All right... I can feel you rolling your eyes at me," Rodney pointed back at Ronon, "so to avoid any more of that, I think sleep might not be a bad idea."

"Good," Canoc said. "Rooms were prepared for both of you. Please, follow me."

Rodney grabbed a few things that he wasn't about to leave at the site (and the remains of some kind of dinner bun that was really quite good, even all these hours later), and grinned at Ronon.

Ronon shook his head and followed along a few paces behind Canoc and Rodney.

"I cannot thank you enough for all of your hard work," Canoc told Rodney. He tugged his cloak a little tighter; he was cold and tired. "This means so much to my people."

"It's nothing, really," Rodney said, all false modesty and smiles. "It's fascinating technology, and I'm sure you and the Colonel worked out some fascinating things involving textiles."

"We did indeed," Canoc said, "though I'm not sure he likes me so much."

"What? Don't be ridiculous, the Colonel likes everyone. It's a flaw," Rodney said, waving it off.

Behind them, Ronon snorted.

Canoc looked back at Ronon, then looked at Rodney again. "Only if you're certain," he said, dubiously.

"It's military thing, I'm sure. I'll want to get back to things as soon as possible in the morning... I'm assuming there will be breakfast?" Rodney said.

"It's the most important meal of the day," Canoc told him with a bright smile.

He was very cheerful. That was strange. But some people were just strange like that. "Excellent," Rodney said.

Ronon was guided to one house, where a family with a young child (the same child who had given him the cat earlier) warmly welcomed him to stay for the night. Then Canoc carried on down the lane, and let Rodney into his own house. "If you don't mind, Doctor McKay, we do not wear shoes in our homes." He pulled off his boots and left them by the door.

"Ah, yes... of course," Rodney said. Local customs, the sort of thing Teyla was always telling him he had to remember to respect. He slipped out of his shoes and left them next to Canoc's boots.

"There," Canoc said, "right at home now. This way, this way." He led Rodney to the back of the house. "You can have this room. I'm just across the hall, if you need me. For anything."

"Yes, thank you very much," Rodney said, yawning demonstratively. "I think I'll be just fine, but if I need you, well, I'll be sure to let you know."

"Good," Canoc murmured. He touched Rodney's shoulder again, then slipped off into his bedroom. He left the door ajar.

Rodney didn't even seem to notice. Within five minutes, he was face down on the mattress, covers pulled up to his ears, snoring away.

*

John leaned back against a tree, arms crossed, and watched Canoc hover over Rodney, who was talking very fast about the Ancient technology in the Sanctuary.

"He has stupid hair," John announced, to no one in particular.

Ronon looked at Teyla. _Here we go again_.

"Do you think his hair might be a contributing factor in the danger you're sensing, regarding the magistrate?" Teyla asked, making it sound like a _very_ reasonable question... and a ridiculous one. Both at the same time.

"Look at it," John said. "It just sticks up all over the place. How are you supposed to trust a guy with hair like that?"

Ronon tilted his head back against the rocks behind him. Maybe he should go find that kid with the cat. Leave Teyla to deal with Sheppard; otherwise Ronon might throttle him.

Teyla looked at John's hair, then at Canoc's, then at John's again. "You may have a point," she said, deciding not to mention that their hair was really startlingly alike. "But Rodney said that he was perfectly hospitable, and a generous host. He even shared his house with Rodney last night."

"He shared his _what_?"

"They are a friendly people. To open your doors to a stranger and let them stay with you is a huge sign of faith and trust, and for the magistrate to take Rodney in was a high sign of favour," Teyla told him.

"Favour." John snorted. "Sure. _Favour_. He can't take his eyes--or hands, if you haven't noticed--off of him." Did he say that part out loud? Yes, yes, he did. Oops.

Teyla turned slowly to look at John, after raising an eyebrow at Ronon. "Are you... suggesting that the magistrate of the village has... an interest in Rodney?"

John looked distinctly sulky. "Maybe I am."

She looked at Ronon again, privately wondering if she was getting a migraine. "Is this a problem?"

Ronon was so not getting involved in this one. At all. Except maybe to point and laugh.

"Well, it's just, Rodney can't exactly stay here, or anything, can he? We need him back on Atlantis. So pretty-boy magistrate is just going to have to pine away from afar," John said.

"You think the magistrate is pretty, John?" Teyla was definitely getting a migraine.

Ronon snickered.

"What!" John exclaimed. "No, where did you get that idea!"

"You just said it yourself. You called him a pretty boy." Teyla looked over at him and examined him critically. "I believe man is more accurate, given his age, and the level of muscle development." She was still deadpan, but the flash of wicked in her eyes that only Ronon could see might have given her away. To Ronon, at least.

"Muscle development?" John scoffed. "And I didn't say he was pretty. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Didn't you hear him, Ronon? Or am I mistaken?" Teyla asked.

"Oh, I heard him," Ronon said.

"You did not," John snapped.

"I remember what I heard. You said, 'So pretty-boy magistrate is just going to have to pine away from afar'."

Who knew that Ronon had that kind of memory? John scowled.

"I'm sure we could invite him to Atlantis," Teyla suggested. "Doctor Weir has been talking about strengthening our alliances with friendly planets."

John looked utterly horrorstruck at this prospect. "Invite him to Atlantis?"

"If, as you say, he'll be pining for Rodney, it seems the polite thing to do," Teyla said, looking over at Rodney and Canoc again. "They do seem to be getting on well. Rodney's even sharing his food."

"What?" John looked over to watch Rodney hand half of his sandwich to Canoc. Oh, this was bad. This was _very bad_. Rodney never shared his food!

"They seem to have formed a close working relationship, and perhaps a friendship too," Teyla said. "Is that not a good thing, Colonel?"

"No, it's not," John huffed, under his breath. He put his sunglasses on.

"Doctor Weir seemed pleased when we gave our report," Teyla reminded him.

"Well, of course. We're going to be able to get food and access to Ancient technology from the Traians."

"And a strong ally in Canoc. The... pretty-boy magistrate," Teyla repeated, hiding another smile.

"Stop saying that," John said. "He's not pretty."

"He has a certain roguish charm," Teyla argued, looking to Ronon for support.

"I guess," Ronon said, "but he's really not my type."

"You two are not funny," John muttered.

Teyla just smiled serenely. She found the entire situation funny. Very, _very_ funny.

John didn't. He pushed away from the tree he was leaning against, and went over to join Rodney and Canoc. "Well," he said, "any new breakthroughs?"

"I think so--I really do think so, although it's difficult to be sure at this point, especially when I'm being interrupted," Rodney said, giving John a _look_, then giving Canoc a smile and sigh, as though he were apologising for John's interference.

"I have to make sure everything's running smoothly." John reached for a handful of grapes from Rodney's stash of snacks.

Rodney reached out and smacked the back of John's hand.

John drew his hand back. "Hey!"

"Don't steal my grapes--I need those, what if my blood sugar drops?" Rodney demanded. "Now--are you here to steal food, or are you here to check up on me?"

John frowned and crossed his arms. "I'm here to check on how things are going."

"Things are going fine," Rodney said. "Now just... shoo and go do something else, because right now, you're getting in the way of scientific progress."

John looked at Rodney for a moment longer, then closed his mouth instead of replying with whatever snarky reply was going to come out first. He didn't want to give Canoc the satisfaction of hearing him say something mean to Rodney, though he did glare at Canoc a little from behind his sunglasses before he stomped away.

"So," Teyla spoke up, as soon as John was back in range. "Did that go well?"

John huffed. "I can't even talk to Rodney alone. Canoc won't let him out of his sight."

Teyla raised an eyebrow, but only a little bit. "You do realise that Rodney's voice tends to carry, don't you?" And that they heard everything he'd said. And the surrounding villagers probably had as well.

John looked sulky. He leaned against the tree again and watched Canoc carefully.

Skeevy bastard.

*

"I don't like him, Elizabeth," said John, as he followed her through the city on her way to the mess hall.

"Sheppard thinks Canoc's 'too nice'," Ronon supplied as he followed John. He found the whole thing funny, which drove John nuts, and which Ronon found funnier.

"'Too nice'?" Elizabeth repeated, exchanging looks quickly with Ronon before she turned her attention back to John. Sort of. She was paying a lot more attention to the fact that she was hungry. "That's something we worry about now?"

"Look, the last time we came across people who were this nice and quaint and friendly, they turned out to be the Genii," John persisted. "Maybe the Traians are the Genii's long-lost cousins."

"Has there been any evidence of something like that?" Elizabeth asked. "People being secretive... disappearing at odd times... questions that are going unanswered... anything at all?"

"No," Ronon answered before John could try to stretch any truth there.

"They're all very, very friendly," John admitted, grudgingly. "They'll let us go anywhere. In fact, they're happy to take us anywhere we want to go."

"Rodney's reports have all been very favourable," Elizabeth said. "He seems to think we've found a real ally worth having with the town magistrate."

John frowned. "Rodney doesn't like anyone."

"I believe his exact words were 'not as idiotic as you'd expect for someone dumb enough to have gone into politics'. From Rodney, that's practically mushy," Elizabeth smiled.

Those words just made John frown even more. "Maybe that's exactly what Canoc wants. To lull us into a sense of false security and... and..." Attack them with pitchforks and bread?

"And what, Sheppard?" Ronon sounded deeply amused.

John glared at him.

"No, I'm curious," Elizabeth said, actually turning to face John this time. "If you have a specific concern, and you think they're a potential danger, then that's something we need to seriously consider. I'm just not seeing anything as of yet that convinces me that's the case."

Why was everyone so blind to the problem? John frowned. "I don't have anything specific just yet, but I'm working on it."

"Well, as soon as you've got something specific, I'm all ears," Elizabeth said. "My door is always open, John. Until then, we'll continue to proceed as we have been."

"All right," John said, grudgingly. He watched as Elizabeth and Ronon went into the mess. How could anyone eat at a time like this?

Right. Back to the township. Where he was greeted warmly by Delma, Canoc's cousin, and she told him he could find Canoc and Rodney at the Sanctuary. Where Canoc was _helping_ Rodney. Actually helping. Hands-on helping. John stood there, stunned, because Rodney wasn't even yelling at the guy.

Clearly, there must be witchcraft involved. Everything made sense that way


	2. Chapter 2

It was late, and Rodney'd been working for hours, not even taking an actual meal break this time, just multitasking between working on the system and eating the food that Canoc had brought him. He was muttering to himself, leaning closer to the monitors and squinting at them.

"Are you getting tired, Doctor McKay?" Canoc asked, gently touching his shoulder. "It's late again, and you haven't stopped all day."

Rodney waved his hand absently. "Fine--I'm fine," he said, leaning closer and checking an equation again.

Carefully, Canoc took hold of Rodney and pulled him away from the screen. "Can you read that from here?"

"_No_, which is why I'm reading it from _here_," Rodney said deliberately, leaning closer again. Really. People asked the strangest questions.

"You need to rest," Canoc insisted.

"I'm close--I'm... I just need to finish this, because if I finish this, then the rest of it's going to make sense." Seven hours from then.

"And what difference will it make if you wait until morning?"

"It will make a difference because I'm _this close_," Rodney protested.

"And you will continue to be _this close_ in the morning," Canoc insisted. "Please, come back with me, let me feed you properly, and put you to bed."

"I'll take him home."

Canoc looked behind him, startled, and then smiled. "Colonel Sheppard. I didn't hear you arrive."

"I guess not," John said. "Let me take Rodney home for a good night's rest in his own bed."

"You're both being ridiculous. I'm _fine_," Rodney protested. Maybe they'd argue and he could get some more work done.

"You're not fine," Canoc said. "You're exhausted, and you'll be able to do a much better job in the morning. Let me take you home."

"You should come back to Atlantis," said John, as though Canoc hadn't spoken at all. He stepped forward and reached out to take hold of Rodney's arm. "Come on. I'm taking you home."

"Colonel Sheppard," Canoc said, "Doctor McKay is still welcome in my home."

"Thanks, but no thanks," John said, not even looking at him, and giving Rodney a bit of a tug.

"Have either of you noticed that I'm _working_ here?" Rodney said, managing a glare at both of them.

"Yes, you are, McKay, and you're going to wear yourself out and be of no use to anyone, and then you'll feel bad and yell at everybody to deflect, so it's best for you to come home and go to sleep." John tugged harder on Rodney's arm.

Rodney gave John an even bigger glare, then huffed and let him pull him along. "Fine. But only because I need more clothes, and I'm not letting Ronon go through my closet again."

"I think Ronon would appreciate that." John didn't let go of Rodney's arm, even as Canoc trailed along behind them. Jerk.

"Be sure to stop by my house when you arrive tomorrow, Doctor McKay," Canoc said. "I look forward to being able to continue to help you."

"Yeah, yeah, he'll see you tomorrow," John muttered as his hand tightened on Rodney's arm.

"Tomorrow--yes. I'll be here. Early," Rodney called back, almost tripping and falling when he tried to look over his shoulder and keep up with John. "Would you slow down? I don't have your freakishly long legs, you know."

"We've got to get back to Atlantis," John said.

"Yes, but right this second? Are we in a hurry? Are there wolves chasing us?" It was hard to believe, but Rodney got more sarcastic as he got tired.

"No," John said, "no wolves."

"Then _slow down_," Rodney said, balking like a stubborn Yorkie at the end of a leash. "I'm not tripping and breaking an ankle because you're in a rush to get back to being beat up with sticks or whatever you do to pass an evening."

"I'm putting you to bed and making sure you stay there for at least eight hours, maybe nine," John said.

"Oh, I really don't think that's going to happen," Rodney scoffed.

"Yeah, I really think it will," John countered.

"What are you going to do, post Ronon to stand guard outside my room?"

"No. That would be silly."

"Yes. It would," Rodney said, grateful that John appeared to be seeing sense.

"I'm just going to stay in your room."

Rodney started laughing, then trailed off when he realised that John didn't seem to be kidding. "Oh _come_ on!"

"You're going to sleep, and you're going to like it."

"This... I'm sure this is in some way against the Geneva convention! You can't force me to sleep!"

"Yes, I can, and Carson's already agreed to help."

"Lies!"

John looked at him.

Rodney scowled deeply.

And John smiled. _That_ was the Rodney he knew and--

Knew.

They stepped through the gate, John's hand still on Rodney's arm, and John marched him down to the infirmary. "Doc?"

"Ah, there you are," Carson said. "I was beginning to worry you couldn't get him away."

"I know how to sleep! This is completely unnecessary," Rodney protested, swatting at John and raising his finger threateningly at Carson. "You stay away from me!"

Carson picked up one little pill and a plastic cup of water. "Just take this," he said, as John shoved Rodney forward. "It'll help you sleep."

"I have _work_ to do in the morning," Rodney complained. "If this hinders my productivity, or makes me sleep too long, or in any way compromises my work, you will only have yourselves to blame."

"It won't," Carson said, checking a sigh. "It'll just make it easier for you to fall asleep. That's all. It's a very small dose." Actually, it was a multi-vitamin, but neither Sheppard nor McKay needed to know that.

Rodney glared fiercely at both of them, then sighed dramatically, snatched the pill out of Carson's hand and swallowed it with water. "Happy now?"

"Yes." John turned him around and marched him back out of the infirmary, calling, "Thanks, Doc!" over his shoulder.

"Anytime, Colonel," Carson said.

"I hate you both!" Rodney called back.

"We know," said John. He led the way to Rodney's room. "So you're going to get a very good night's sleep, and if you really think you need to, you can go back to work in the morning after a hearty breakfast."

"What do you mean 'if I need to'?" Rodney repeated. "Of course I need to. I'm nearly there, John!"

"Yeah, well..." John opened Rodney's door and pushed him inside.

"You're being very stubborn, you know," Rodney said, ignoring the colour of his shiny black kettle.

"That's what I do." John made himself comfortable in a chair at Rodney's desk. "Go to bed."

"You're not staying here to watch me!" Rodney protested, hands on hips.

John was so not about to move.

"You have to sleep too, Colonel." Rodney folded his arms across his chest.

"I had a very nice nap this afternoon."

"This is harassment. I'm being harassed."

"Take it up with Elizabeth. In the morning. After sleep and breakfast." And then she'd probably chew John out, possibly for being weird, not likely for annoying Rodney, but it'd be worth it.

A long, dramatic sigh that must have pulled most of the oxygen from the room. "Turn around."

"What?"

"I have to get changed for bed, so turn around!"

John sighed a little, got to his feet, and turned around.

"Now don't turn back," Rodney scolded, getting his pyjamas from under the pillow and watching John for a few long moments before he dared to get changed.

John fidgeted. "Are you done yet?"

"I don't know if in the military you do drills to see who can get undressed and redressed the fastest, but in my field, it's not considered a competition."

John huffed. "Just hurry up and get to bed."

"This was your idea in the first place, so you'll just have to be patient," Rodney said, taking time to carefully fluff his pillow before he climbed into bed and pulled up the covers.

"Are you done yet?"

"Yes, yes, you can turn around again."

"Good." John made himself comfy in the chair again. "Now go to sleep, Rodney."

"I'm back in Atlantis now. I don't have to listen to you if I don't want to," Rodney muttered. But he was tired. That pill was kicking in _fast_. "If I can't work tomorrow because you nagged Carson into giving me drugs...."

"You'll be able to work. He promised me you would."

"I better," Rodney murmured. "You could go, you know. You don't have to stay."

"Yes, I do, because you're not going to be getting up at three in the morning to back."

"I wasn't going to do that!" And no, that wasn't Rodney's watch alarm being surreptitiously set under the covers.

John suddenly got up. "Give me your watch," he said.

"What? No," Rodney said, hiding his arm behind his back.

"Don't make me wrestle it off you, because you won't win," John said.

"Okay, now I _know_ that's harassment."

"Give me your watch, Rodney."

Rodney practically pouted as he unbuckled his watch and handed it over.

"Thank you." John took the watch from him and went to sit down in the chair again.

"Good luck trying to figure out how to turn the alarm off," Rodney said smugly.

_Beep. Beep. Beepbeep._ "There we go." John shoved the watch in his pocket.

Rodney sat upright. "How did you do that?"

"Would you go to sleep already?"

"When did you turn into some kind of tech savant?"

John didn't answer. Maybe if he didn't say anything, Rodney would _go to sleep_.

Rodney lay down, and there was a few moments of quiet. "Did you watch me set it? Have you been spying on me?"

"Rod-_nee_."

"Fine! Did you ever think that maybe it's strange for me to try and sleep with you watching me? I can feel your eyes boring into the back of my skull."

John sighed. "Shut up and go to sleep."

A loud huff from Rodney, and he actually went quiet.

_Finally._ "Good night, Rodney."

"I'm telling Elizabeth in the morning." But at least Rodney sounded sleepy.

"Okay. You do that."

"I will."

"I'm sure."

A grunt from Rodney, and this time he stayed quiet.

Good. All right. John crossed his arms, stretched his legs out in front of him, and then he started the long, long wait until morning. He'd need to figure out some way to keep Rodney from going back to the planet.

*

It was about three in the morning. John kept nodding off, then waking up, then nodding off... the chair wasn't comfortable, and he intended to keep Rodney from sneaking out in the middle of the night to run back to _Canoc_. Stupid Canoc.

"Okay, that's just _enough_!"

John started. "Rodney! You're supposed to be asleep."

"Yes, well, that would be considerably easier if you weren't twitching and grunting and shifting about. You spend too much time with Ronon. You're picking up his mannerisms," Rodney complained.

"Shut up and go back to sleep."

"You shut up. I can't sleep if you're going to keep _doing_ that."

John sighed. "Then I'll stop grunting."

"Are you tired?"

"It's three in the morning."

Rodney sighed. "Come here."

"What?"

"Just... you won't leave, right?" Rodney checked.

"What?"

"You aren't going to go back to your own room and get a good night's sleep on your own bed. Right?"

"No. I'm not. You've got to sleep."

"Then come over here, at least take your boots off, and lie down," Rodney said, squishing over to one side of his bed. "It's the only way we're going to sleep."

John stayed right where he was. "What?"

"I swear, if you don't I'm going to go out into the hallway and _yell_ until someone goes and gets Elizabeth."

John grumbled. "Fine. Fine, whatever you want, Rodney." He untied his boots and then went to stand at the side of Rodney's bed.

Rodney snapped his fingers and pointed at the bed. "Lie. Down. And don't hog the covers. I catch cold easily if I'm chilled during the night."

John settled down on top of the blankets. "There."

He rolled his eyes, tugged the blankets out from underneath John, and flopped them on top of him. "There. Now will you be quiet?"

John grunted. "Go to sleep."

"Shut up. I'm trying."

"Good."

Rodney poked John in the ribs, and went still again.

John poked him back, then fell still, too.

*

When morning came, Rodney didn't wake up, not even when light came through the window. Of course, he was warm, and very comfortable, draped across John like he was Rodney's own personal mattress.

John stared up at the ceiling. This was very nice and very comfortable and so, so bad. His hand was on Rodney's upper back, while the other was down at his side clutching the sheets like a lifeline. Oh, this was all sorts of not good.

Rodney murmured, still sleeping, and wriggled against John, then sighed and went still again.

John swallowed hard. He moved carefully to check the time--it was still kind of early--they could stay in bed like this a while yet--Rodney was _very_ warm--they could both use the rest--and of course, there was no Canoc here. At all. Ever. Which was how it should be.

Stupid Canoc and his stupid hair and stupid _face_.

Which, of course, was Rodney's cue to wake up, lashes fluttering and lips smacking as he blinked at John. "What time is it?" he demanded.

"About seven hundred."

Rodney struggled against the covers, wriggling against John and finally managing to crawl over him and out of bed. "I have to get going," he said, looking for his clothes.

"Oof," John said, as he got a knee in the gut. He sat up. "That wasn't nine hours of sleep, Rodney."

"Don't you dare." Rodney held out his hand and narrowed his eyes at John. "I came back, I took a _sleeping pill_, and I slept. That's as good as you're going to get, Colonel."

John sat up. "Rodney, I think you need to take a break."

"Oh _please_," Rodney snorted, looking around for his shoes.

"Rodney, I mean it."

"And when exactly is the last time you took shore leave or a vacation or so much as more than one day off in a row, hmm?"

"We're not talking about me," John said.

"We should. You're at least as bad," Rodney accused him.

"That's not the point, Rodney. You shouldn't go back there."

"Why not?"

"I don't trust Canoc."

"Oh, please," Rodney repeated, rolling his eyes. "You don't trust him? What's he going to do--polite someone to death?"

"Nothing here is ever what it appears to be, Rodney," John said. "Every time we meet someone who seems too good to be true, they really are."

Rodney turned back to John. "Teyla."

John blinked. "What about Teyla?"

"Everyone thought Teyla was too good to be true. But she wasn't, was she?"

John fidgeted. "She's _Teyla_."

"Exactly."

"So what are you saying?"

"That you have completely no logic whatsoever. Because she seemed too good to be true, and she wasn't. She was better," Rodney said.

"So are you saying Canoc's just like Teyla?"

"I'm saying that you're being ridiculous. And I think if you'd been the one to 'bond' with Canoc, you'd be looking at this completely differently. It's because it's me, and not you."

"What? _That's_ ridiculous." John got to his feet.

"It's not. You're jealous."

"Jealous? Of you? Yeah, right, Rodney."

"Of him. You're jealous of him, because he's paying attention to me and not you," Rodney accused.

"I don't want him to pay attention to me! He's--he's--annoying."

"And you don't want him to be paying attention to me, do you?" Rodney said, pushing again, like an annoying little terrier.

"I don't trust him." John shoved one foot, and then the other, into his boots.

"Because you're jealous." Rodney's smirk was epic. "You. Are. Jealous. Admit it. Just admit that you're jealous, because it's got to be pretty obvious right now that I'm not going to quit."

"I'm not jealous," John snapped, looking down at the floor, as he tied his boots. "I'm going to go have breakfast."

"Then I'm going right back to the site," Rodney said. "If you're not jealous, you won't care."

"Fine," John said, bitchy as anything. "Go back. I don't care."

"Fine. I will. Since you don't care," Rodney snarked back.

"Good. You do that. Go." John stood up once his boots were laced up again, and stalked over to the door. At least he wouldn't have to see Canoc today.

"Jealous," Rodney called after him. "Jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous, jealous. Jealous."

"Shut up!" John snapped.

Breakfast. Right. Breakfast. Breakfast was a good idea. He made his way to the mess, and found Teyla, Ronon, Beckett, and Elizabeth all at a table together.

With Canoc.

He stopped dead in his tracks. _No. Not here!_

Teyla looked up from the table and smiled at John.

"Colonel Sheppard," Canoc called out, when he spotted him, "please, come join us. Teyla and Ronon helped me bring fruit for the people of Atlantis."

_I hate you and your hair and your stupid face._ "Sure, why not?" John strode across the mess and sat down next to Elizabeth, as far away from Canoc as he could manage.

"Canoc was just telling us about all the work that Rodney has been helping him with," Elizabeth said, taking a sip of her coffee. "It sounds like things are going very well."

"Yeah," John said, staring down the table at him. "Really well. We're lucky."

"We haven't seen Rodney yet this morning... hopefully he finally got some rest. It sounded like he's been doing his usual, burning the candle at both ends and in the middle," Elizabeth said, again going off information from Canoc.

"I do have my concerns," Canoc said. "I'd much rather see Doctor McKay healthy than working as fast as he possibly can to fix the devices the Ancestors left behind."

"Yeah, wouldn't we all," John said. "I think Rodney's somewhere behind me." Unless he was already on his way back to Traian. He scowled a little.

"Are you all right, Colonel Sheppard?" Teyla asked him. "You look tired."

John looked at her and shrugged a little. "I guess I didn't sleep all that well."

Canoc frowned. "I'm sorry to hear that, Colonel," he said.

_Yeah, I'm just sure you are._ "I'll be all right," John said.

Which was as good a cue as any for a freshly showered and shaved Rodney to show up at the mess, heading straight for the food line.

"I just remembered--I have a--" John got to his feet and all but ran away.

Canoc frowned. "Perhaps he needs to rest, Doctor Weir," he said, mildly.

Elizabeth managed a reassuring smile. "I'm sure he'll be fine, but the concern is appreciated," she assured him. Rest? Wasn't what John needed.

"His behaviour has been increasingly peculiar as the days pass," Canoc said. "Are you certain he's all right?"

"Perfectly certain," Elizabeth assured him. "Isn't that right, Doctor Beckett?" She didn't trust Ronon to lie.

Carson looked at her a moment, and then he said, "Oh. Absolutely. He's just fine."

Ronon snorted into his coffee. Quietly.

*

"Teyla radioed in to tell us that she and Ronon will return in a few hours, but Doctor McKay is going to stay on Traian," Chuck told Elizabeth, just outside her office. "Canoc has invited him to stay for dinner."

"Thank you, Chuck," Elizabeth said, smiling at him, and trying not to sigh when she realised that she was going to have to let John know. Waiting until Chuck had left, she touched her earpiece. "Colonel Sheppard?"

"Yes, Doctor Weir?" he responded.

"Teyla and Ronon will be returning to Atlantis in a few hours."

"I know."

"Then I suppose I don't have to report the rest of her message?" Elizabeth said.

He got up from the chair he was sitting in. At her desk. "Nope." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "What's kept you? I've been here for an hour and a half. I beat your top Minesweeper score, by the way."

She turned around and gave him a _look_. "You have an office, you know."

He looked sheepish. "Yeah, but I can't beat my own top score in Minesweeper."

"Are you sure it's yours? Major Lorne uses your office a lot," Elizabeth teased.

"Huh. That would explain a lot." John sat down in one of the chairs across from Elizabeth's desk. "So. Uh."

Elizabeth reclaimed her seat and looked back at John. "Yes?"

"Rodney. And Canoc. They're awfully... cosy." He turned away just a little, looking out the office window at operations.

"Rodney was remarkably polite to him during breakfast. After your... exit."

"I guess that makes up for my less-than-polite behaviour. Right?"

"Canoc thinks there's something wrong with you, so I'm so sure about that," Elizabeth said wryly.

John rubbed at his eyes. "Dammit."

"John. Look at me," Elizabeth said, voice gentle. "You don't really think there's something wrong with Canoc. Do you?"

John looked at her again. He fidgeted. "I don't like him."

"That isn't what I asked."

"No," he said.

"But you don't like that he's helping Rodney," Elizabeth said.

"No." He looked away again. "Not really."

"And... why do you think that is?"

_His face is stupid._ "Because I don't like him?"

"But why don't you like him?" Elizabeth pushed.

_Because his face is stupid!_ John looked at her. "Do I really need to say this out loud?" he asked, plaintively.

"Well, if you don't want to say it to me, I'm sure we could find you some time with Doctor Heightmeyer," Elizabeth said, moving to stand up.

"I don't like Canoc because he likes Rodney," John blurted. He didn't want to talk to anybody else about this.

"Because he likes Rodney, or because you think he _likes_ Rodney." Yes, running Atlantis was sometimes like running a middle school.

John looked up at the ceiling; he wasn't rolling his eyes, he just couldn't stand to look directly at Elizabeth right now. "The latter," he mumbled.

"And that bothers you because..."

"Because he has stupid hair?"

"I wonder how Doctor Heightmeyer's schedule is looking," Elizabeth murmured, turning toward her computer to check.

"I don't want to talk to Doctor Heightmeyer," John said in a small voice.

"Then you talk to me, because this is becoming a problem," Elizabeth said, putting on her I Am In Charge Of Running Atlantis voice.

John slouched down in his chair. "A problem?"

"When you start making people who are supposed to be our allies concerned about your medical or mental health? When you talk Carson into nagging Rodney into a sleeping pill? When you spend the night in his room, making sure he doesn't sneak out?"

"He, uh, told you about that, huh?" John rubbed at his face again.

"No. You just did," Elizabeth said.

John blinked. "No, I didn't."

"You just confirmed it. And I checked, because you've been strange lately."

"I'm not sure I'd use the word 'strange'," John protested.

Elizabeth raised one eyebrow. She and Teyla were both getting extremely good at that.

"Okay, I'd use the word strange. But I've got a good reason!"

"Which is?" Elizabeth prompted.

He looked away, up at the ceiling, down at her desk. _I think he eats kittens and bathes in the blood of virgins at night?_ "He likes Rodney. A little too much. A lot too much."

"Assuming that's true, why should that be a problem?" Elizabeth asked.

"Because..." Because he saw Rodney first. Because he was jealous. Because nobody else was supposed to like Rodney, except maybe Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth, Radek, and Carson. He looked helplessly at Elizabeth. Was she going to make him say this out loud? Really?

"I'll tell you what, John," Elizabeth said, leaning closer. "You don't have to tell me."

He looked utterly relieved.

"But you do have to tell Rodney."

"I do?"

"Yes. You do." Because between Rodney getting jealous of people paying too much attention to John, and John getting jealous of people paying too much attention to Rodney, Elizabeth was having to dye her hair _way_ more often than should be necessary for a woman of her not-that-substantial age.

John sighed. "Maybe I do."

"Excellent. Now, if that's everything, I think I have some work to do?" And a Minesweeper top score to beat, damn John Sheppard anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

It was dusk when John wandered back into Traian. He strolled through town, greeted some of the townsfolk, took some bread when it was offered to him, and made his way to Canoc's house. He knocked smartly on the door, then opened it up without being invited.

There were flowers on the table. And candles. And a great big meal for two.

"Colonel Sheppard," Canoc said. "Is there a problem?"

"No, no," John said. "Not at all. Just thought I'd join you."

Rodney walked back into the room, drying his hands on his pants. "All right, I'm... Colonel," he said, tilting his head to the side. "When did you get here?"

"Just now. I thought I'd come see how everything's working out." John smiled brightly and pushed his hands into his pockets.

Canoc frowned. "Doctor McKay and I were just sitting down for dinner."

"Great! It smells fantastic."

"Ah. Alone, Colonel."

Rodney waved his hand. "I have to admit, it looks like there's plenty of food," he said. "There's an extra chair there in the corner," he added, pointing to it as he sat down at the table. "Come on, now, I'm starved."

"Well," Canoc said, "I... very well, Colonel."

John smiled brightly, grabbed the spare chair, and brought it to the table, sitting next to Rodney. "So. How goes the repairs?"

"As I was trying to tell you last night before you dragged me away, I was very, very close. Which means now, I'm practically done," Rodney said, a smug smile on his face.

"Good for you, Rodney," John said, smiling too. "That's good news." He paused as he took a roll from the basket Canoc passed him. "So any idea what the device does, exactly? Is it a weapon, or is it defensive?"

"Defensive," Rodney said, almost looking disappointed. "And it draws from a specific mineral composition that as far as I can tell, only exists here, on this planet, so... the probability of duplicating it elsewhere is.... well. Not so probable."

"But Doctor McKay thinks it will be able to continue to defend my people against the Wraith," Canoc said. "He was speaking very quickly at that point, so I'm not certain I understood what the device does, but it seems that it will help us. If that's the case, we should be able to continue to be allies, even if it's only for trade. My people are not warriors."

"I guess that's something," John said.

"What? I wasn't speaking that quickly at the time," Rodney protested, taking another bite of bread.

"Yes, you were," Canoc said. "You speak very, very quickly when you get excited about something."

"Yeah, he does do that," John said. His knee bumped against Rodney's. Absolutely by accident.

Rodney rolled his eyes at Canoc, and shifted to grab something from across the table. Bumping against John's knee at the same time. "It is purely defensive, but as long as it stays in working order, and it's properly maintained, it should keep you relatively safe. I'll make sure you know what to watch for."

"I cannot possibly thank you enough for your help, Doctor McKay," Canoc said, looking at him with a smile. "But I will repay you... however you see fit."

"Really? That's very kind of you," Rodney said, smiling back at him. "Is that chicken?"

"Yes, yes, of course." Canoc passed the chicken over to Rodney.

*

Dinner passed by uneventfully enough, and when Rodney yawned rather widely, John stood up. "All right," he said, "time for me to take you home to bed."

Canoc stood as well. "Doctor McKay is welcome to stay here," he said.

"I'm not that tired--I could probably go back to the site and finish up," Rodney suggested. Yawning again.

"Rodney, you work better when you're not exhausted," Canoc said, gently. "Don't think I haven't noticed."

"You heard him," John said. "So let's go back home."

Rodney let out a big sigh. "Oh, _fine_. Have it your way," he said, getting up from the table. "Wonderful meal, Canoc, really. I'll see you tomorrow, yes?" He gave him a wide smile.

Canoc smiled back, just as widely. "Of course, Doctor McKay. Until tomorrow."

"Yes, of course," Rodney said, nodding, then heading outside ahead of John, once he got his shoes back on. And maybe tried to 'accidentally' head in the direction of the site instead of the gate.

"Hey, hey," John said, grabbing his arm. "No. Home. Bed."

"What, is that not the way home?"

"Don't be cheeky."

"_Cheeky_? When did you turn into Carson?" Rodney snorted.

"It's a good word. Cheeky. I've decided to incorporate it into my vocabulary."

"I'm not entirely sure that it's 'you'," Rodney said, looking uncertain.

"No?" John looked thoughtful. "How about sassy? Or saucy?"

"Okay, now you're freaking me out, and I'm thinking maybe I should go back and have thirds at Canoc's place. I'm sure he hasn't finished clearing the table yet."

"Come _on_, Rodney," John said, firmly, arm around Rodney's shoulders. "It's time to go home. To your prescription mattress. Which, incidentally, is not _my_ prescription. I've got an awful kink in my neck."

"You can't blame my mattress for that," Rodney insisted. "That was from you being a stubborn ass and sleeping in that chair, which is not at all prescription."

"I had to make sure you wouldn't leave, and it wasn't polite to invite myself into your bed."

Rodney snorted. "And you have such a premium on manners."

"I do," John said. "I'm perfectly polite. Very, even. Insufferably so."

"You've got the insufferable part right anyway," Rodney murmured. "Are we _there_ yet?"

"Just about." John stopped walking, and looked up at the starry sky. "Rodney?"

"Uh huh?" Rodney said, not realising for a moment or two that John had stopped. He stopped too, and turned back to look at him. "Are we not walking?"

"I don't like Canoc."

"Really," Rodney deadpanned. "That was almost hard to tell."

John was still talking to the sky, though he did, at least, face Rodney. "I don't like him at all, Rodney. He's too nice to you."

"You don't like him... because he's nice to me? So, does that make Kavanaugh your favourite person?"

"Rodney. No. Look. I just... he's... I don't like him paying attention to you like that because I think he's got ulterior motives."

"He does," Rodney said.

John looked down at him. "Um."

"He wants me to fix the device," Rodney reminded him. "It's not that hard to figure out," he added, starting to walk again.

"I think he wants in your pants," John blurted out, louder than he intended.

Rodney turned around, stared at John, and blinked. Several times.

"Rodney! He's hot for you in... in... unseemly ways!"

"So help me, Colonel, my pants had better not have been part of the 'textiles' trade that you and Teyla arranged," Rodney said, sounding very threatening.

"God, no, because I don't want to share you."

"You don't want to... what me?" Rodney took a few steps closer.

"Share you with pretty-boys with stupid hair," John muttered.

"Share me with pretty boys with stupid hair because you..."

"Because I shouldn't have to." John crossed his arms.

"You don't want to share me," Rodney repeated. "Like... as an incredibly valuable and irreplaceable colleague on your team?"

"Well, that, too." John fidgeted, shifting from one foot to the other. This place wasn't perfect after all--it started to get ridiculously chilly at night.

Rodney sighed. "I don't understand you," he admitted, almost sadly, turning to walk toward the gate again.

"Rodney!" John took a few steps to catch up to him, grabbed his arm, and turned him around. "I don't want to share you with somebody who wants to get in your pants."

"Why _not_?"

"Because _I_ want you, goddammit!"

And like _that_, Rodney took that one step closer, pushed his hand into John's hair, and tugged him in for a very deliberate kiss. "My _God_, I thought that was going to take all night!" he sighed, tugging his arm out of John's grip and starting to walk very quickly in the direction of the gate.

John stood there, motionless, not sure what just happened.

"Are you coming or not?" Rodney's voice drifted back to John from up ahead.

John hurried to catch up with him. "Did you just kiss me?"

"If you're not sure whether I did or not, clearly I didn't do it right," Rodney frowned. "No... no, I'm sure that I did. I'll just have to remind you once we get back to my room."

"Back to your room," John echoed, his voice suddenly very, very rough.

"Yes, I think so," Rodney said, stopping suddenly. "Are you going to dial the gate?"

John stopped. He was standing next to the DHD. "Right. Dialling right now."

"Good. By the way, I can't believe you didn't try and peek at me at least once last night when I was changing. Really, Colonel, from your reputation, I expected better," Rodney said, just in time for the gate to activate. Punching in his IDC, he headed straight for the gate without another word.

John watched him go, then followed after him a moment later. He caught up to him in the gate room and tried to act casual. Really casual.

While John was trying to act casual, Rodney was actually managing to pull it off. Which was probably odd, as one of the things that Rodney was typically not was casual. At all. And yet, he was practically strolling his way to his quarters, not bothering to check to see if John was following after him or not.

Of course John was following him, as if Rodney was dangling a carrot on a stick in front of his nose. He followed Rodney right into his room, and ten stood there, dumbly, staring at him.

Rodney turned around once they were in his room, looking very satisfied. "There. Much better. So--where were we?"

"You kissed me," John said.

"Yes. Yes I did."

"I kind of liked it."

"Only kind of? You're going to be a hard man to please, John Sheppard."

John quirked a grin at him. "Maybe I am."

"Don't be cheeky now," Rodney said, throwing John's own word back at him. "Do you know how many days I've been dragging this project out, waiting for you to finally admit you were jealous and make a damned move? You owe me for that."

"Dragging... you've been... Meredith Rodney McKay!"

"You're a very stubborn man, you know that? And don't call me Meredith. The last thing I need to be thinking about while you're taking your pants off is my sister."

John grinned at him. "Fair enough. Now are you going to kiss me again, or am I going to have to go over there?"

"I think you should come over here. You can't expect me to do all the work here too."

"Geez, you're demanding." But John crossed the room to him, pushed a hand into Rodney's hair, and leaned down to kiss him. His mouth felt good.

John had no idea. But if Rodney had his way--and he intended to have his way--he was going to find out. Rodney pressed in close and groaned into the kiss, hands splaying out across John's back.

"Hell," John gasped against Rodney's mouth, and kissed him again as he tugged Rodney's shirt up so he could touch Rodney's back. His skin was soft--ridiculously so.

Rodney wriggled out of the kiss long enough to get his shirt off properly, then tugging at John's as well. "Off--you wear too many clothes," he said, even as he kissed John again.

John groaned against Rodney's mouth and after a moment, he threw his shirt somewhere across the room. Wouldn't need it. He grabbed at Rodney's shoulders and shoved him down onto his goddamned stupid prescription mattress. Without a word, he managed to get Rodney's shoes off. It was important that they come off. It wasn't going to be too long before it would be an impossible task.

He was babbling away at John almost the entire time, even though it was becoming rapidly clear that John wasn't hearing two words in three. Finally, he reached out and grabbed onto John's hair and tugged hard. "_John_!"

"Ow! _What_, Rodney!" John looked up at him, annoyed.

"You weren't _listening_!"

He blinked. "Oh. Well."

"Exactly. Because if you were, you'd have heard me tell you that I want you to fuck me. I said it like four times," Rodney huffed.

"You. You want." John swallowed hard. "Oh."

"Yes. I do. I want you to fuck me," Rodney repeated--again--reaching out and grabbing lube and condoms and shoving them all in John's direction, only to drop them against the bed. "Oh, wait... oh God, are you a virgin?" he asked bluntly. John did seem rather shocked.

"What--I--_Rodney_!" John closed his eyes, and pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes. "I'm not a virgin. It's just--we haven't even--and--you're--"

"Well, you never know," Rodney pointed out, reaching for John's arms and tugging him down against his body, then pulling his hands out of the way. "Kiss me," he coaxed.

"Rodney." Okay, John could do that before his brain melted and he'd be utterly useless. He kissed him, a hand sliding under his head, and his tongue darting out to touch Rodney's lip. "I want you," he whispered against his mouth.

"I thought so," Rodney murmured back, lips curling into a smile as he arched his body up against John's.

"I'm not naked enough yet," John said. For that matter, neither was Rodney. They needed to fix that.

"So get us naked," Rodney shot back, fingers already slipping between them and working on John's belt. "God knows you've spent enough time staring at my ass that you should be able to guess what it looks like by now, but still."

John stared at him, then leaned in and kissed him again, hard. "What else have I been doing?" he asked, roughly, before he began working on the rest of their clothes. It was easy enough to get Rodney naked; John, however, was still wearing his boots.

"Glaring at anyone who pays me the slightest bit of attention, sneaking me chocolate pudding, and if you'd admitted you were jealous this morning, we could have been doing this a lot sooner. Also, your boots are _stupid_," Rodney added.

"Don't I know it," John said with a grunt, giving a particularly hard tug and tumbling down off of Rodney's bed. "And I don't glare at everyone who pays attention to you," he said, throwing a boot across the room with rather a lot of viciousness.

Rodney peered over the side of the bed at him. "You didn't damage anything, did you? Because I've already waited a fairly long time for this, you know."

"I'm fine," John said. He was naked when he stood up, and crawled up onto Rodney's bed. "I'm just fine."

He smiled, looking very pleased. "You're better than fine," Rodney said, hands moving over John's shoulders. Hairier than he'd expected, but there were worse things.

John looked down at him a moment, then leaned in and started pressing kisses over Rodney's jaw, down his neck, over his shoulder. "You look pleased with yourself," he murmured against Rodney's skin. Soft, soft, stupidly soft skin.

"I told you... I've waited a long time for this," Rodney sighed, pushing his fingers into John's ridiculous hair and tugging, but not as hard this time.

John groaned. "Oh, god. You keep doing that, and... _god_."

"I keep doing that and what?" Rodney asked, tugging again, then sliding his hands down John's neck, fingers pressing in nice and hard. "Don't you want to fuck me?"

John groaned. "God. Yes. Rodney." He looked up at him. "I want that."

"Ohthankgod," Rodney said, all in one word, surging up and kissing him again.

John shoved both hands under Rodney's body, drawing him up, kissing him hard. He pressed close, rocked against him, wondered if he'd really actually get to that point. He might not make it. And wouldn't that be embarrassing.

Rodney moaned into John's mouth, still talking even when he was being kissed. It didn't really matter whether John could hear him or understand him or not. The tone was clear. He _wanted_. He wanted _everything_.

A shiver went down John's spine, and he fumbled for the lube and condom. He whimpered faintly, face against Rodney's neck, and then his tongue darted out against his skin before he pulled back to kneel between Rodney's legs. "Damn."

"Do you want me like this?" Rodney asked, voice coming out in a gasp as he propped himself up on his elbows, watching John. "Or do you want me to turn over?"

John looked at him and swallowed hard. "How..." His mouth was dry. He licked his lips. "How do you like it?"

"Well, mostly? I just really like being _fucked_," Rodney said, trademark blunt. "I just thought you might have a preference," he added, grinning at him. Just a little smug.

John licked his lip again, then ran his hand down Rodney's side to his hip. "Turn over," he rasped.

Rodney flashed one more slow, crooked grin at John before he rolled over onto his stomach, legs spreading wide as he lifted his ass up for John. "More like that?" he asked over his shoulder.

John swore harshly. He leaned down and trailed his tongue all the way up Rodney's spine, then bit at his shoulder. He fumbled with the lube; his hands shook, but somehow he managed, somehow, and stroked his fingertips over Rodney's hole. "Want you."

He moaned at John's tongue, murmuring under his breath and pushing back against his fingers when he felt them brushing against his hole. "John... John, come on, damn it, please?"

John bit his shoulder again and pushed a finger inside him. "You just said 'please'," he mumbled. "I shouldn't find that so hot."

"I also said damn it, and I'm adding a hurry the hell up and... oh _God_, more, more, more," Rodney sighed, head dropping forward when John's finger pushed inside him.

Now that just made John smile. There were little things that Rodney did, sometimes, that made him ridiculously hot, and they didn't make sense, but then, neither did Rodney. Neither did he. They didn't make sense at all. He pushed another finger inside him. "Is that good? Tell me it's good, Rodney."

Rodney groaned, the sound coming from the bottom of the floor or farther. "God, yes it's good--you know it's good," he breathed, pushing back against John's fingers, encouraging him to give him _more_, to move _faster_.

And that groan just about did John in. He groaned and pulled his fingers free. "Tell me you want it," he said, "because I need you right the hell now."

"So help me God, _Colonel_, if you don't fuck me right now, I'm going to walk naked back to Traian and find Canoc," Rodney threatened, although the threat itself was blunted by the way he was trembling, and how fucking _desperate_ he sounded.

"Call me John again. Please." He rolled the condom on and pressed up behind Rodney and started to push slowly, too fucking slowly, inside him. God, he was hot.

"John... _John_," Rodney murmured, voice slipping down to barely a whisper. Oh god, too slow, _way_ too slow, and if he could gather just _that_ much more of his brain, he'd be hurrying things along, but it just felt way too good. "John _please_," he moaned.

"Yes." And he pushed in hard, deep, all the way, and draped himself over Rodney's back to kiss his shoulder. "Rodney. You feel so fucking _good_."

He gasped when John pushed in, body clamping down nice and tight around him, just because it felt good to do it. "John... you have to move. You _have_ to move, please, come on."

John couldn't. He wanted to, desperately, he _needed_ it so bad, but he couldn't move. Rodney was so tight, so hot, so _everything_. For once, just for now, Rodney was the centre of the universe. Not that John could say it out loud. Ever.

It wasn't a whine. Rodney did not whine. But he did let out a low, desperate kind of sound, right before taking a deep breath and shoving back against John. Because if they didn't start moving soon, Rodney was going to _die_.

That was all it took to get John to move. If only Rodney had done that sooner. John held him tight and thrust forward, hard, harder than he intended, but there'd be time enough later. Eventually. Sooner or later, he could do this right, he could take his time, he could enjoy _everything_, but he'd just spent days getting teased very mercilessly by an evil genius and he was going to give them what they wanted.

Rodney let out a stream of 'yeses' said so quickly that they blurred together into one word, fucking John back and moaning so loudly that Ronon was probably down in his quarters holding a pillow over his ears.

John echoed those moans, though he didn't exactly want to be quite so loud, because undoubtedly Rodney would be insufferably smug later, but goddamn, he felt good. Better than he had any right to be, and John was just this side of completely losing control as he fucked Rodney harder, faster. The sounds they made were that side of obscene. That made it all so much hotter.

God, he was good. Not that Rodney'd doubted that--the man was a complete _Kirk_, and that did come with a certain amount of mattress prowess--but it was nice to finally get some first hand knowledge on the subject. He kept moving with John, moaning and babbling away, encouragement and demand-like-pleas for more mostly. Up until he shifted, more or less on a dime, and started begging and demanding that John touch him, moaning that he needed to come.

So John only waited a few brief moments before he finally reached down to touch Rodney's cock, groaning softly as he did. He sucked and bit at Rodney's shoulder, wanting to leave a mark. He needed to leave something behind. Something that nobody else could see, but he'd know it was there. He'd always know. And he'd see it again, as soon as he could. "Rodney," he gasped, shoving in hard.

The biting thing that John kept doing was not only good, but a hopeful sign of a possible oral fixation, which Rodney'd be a _lot_ more excited about if he wasn't so distracted by John_finally_ getting his hand down to Rodney's cock. He bucked back against him, then thrust into his hand, then back again, fast and hard and 'yesfuckyes', all before letting out a loud yell and coming over John's hand.

"Ohmygod. Rodney. Rodney." John bit him again, a little harder than he'd intended, and a few moments later, he came, hips jerking forward a few more times. "Rodney." Eyes closed, he rested his cheek against Rodney's back. He felt sweat dripping down his neck.

He was breathing too hard to even register a token complaint about the bite to his shoulder, which was probably for the best. If he complained too much, John might not do it again, and that would be bad. Rodney turned his head to the side and pillowed it against the mattress (God only knew where the actual pillows had gotten to), lips curled up into a _distinctly_ smug smile as he got his breath back.

"Rodney." Another few deep, ragged breaths, and John eased away from him, discarded the condom, and then collapsed half on top of him. "Hey."

He wriggled until he was able to turn enough to see John's face, hand coming up absently to play with his hair. "Interesting. And I thought your hair looked post-coital at the best of times."

"Oh, screw you," John said with a laugh.

"I refuse to make the obvious joke, regardless of the fact that we _will_ be doing that again soon."

"We will, huh? You've decided that?"

"Oh, please, like you haven't," Rodney scoffed.

John grinned, then wriggled them both around so that he could kiss Rodney properly. "Of course I have. I can't have you straying over to Canoc and his pretty-boy face."

"Thank _God_ you finally got your head out of your ass," Rodney said, with a very contented sigh. "If I'd had to go one more day of extending that project, I might have killed him. He's just... he's too _nice_. No one's that nice."

"That's what I've been saying all this time and nobody believes me."

"Of course they believe you," Rodney said, yawning and nuzzling in closer to John. "I had to find _some_ way to get you to admit you were jealous so you'd _do_ something about it."

John pulled back. "What."

"Hmm?" Rodney looked like he was settling in for a nap, trying to tug John closer again.

John shoved at his shoulder. "Did you get everyone to play along so you could get in my pants?"

"You Americans are always so--forgive the phrase--tight-assed about everything," Rodney said, stretching and settling again. "Plus you're military. A direct approach would never have worked. I had to come up with something else."

"Why you manipulative little bitch," John said, very fondly.

"Thank you," Rodney said, flashing John his trademark wide, crooked smile. "I can't take all the credit though. Chuck was instrumental in the planning phases."

"Chuck? Gate technician Chuck? That Chuck?"

"Everyone underestimates Canadians. It's really not wise."

"Apparently not. You're crafty and wily. I should keep my eye on you." John ran his hands down Rodney's back, and squeezed his ass. He intended to keep more than just his eye on Rodney, if he could help it.

"Especially because you were jealous. Right?" Rodney said, pushing back against John's hand and going back to playing with his hair again.

John nipped at Rodney's lower lip. "Yes, Rodney. I was jealous of Canoc. He's prettier than I am--what did you expect?"

"Oh, please. Not that I thought your vanity needed the pampering, but look in a mirror sometime," Rodney snorted. "Besides, part of the reason you were so jealous is that he looks like a knock-off version of you. The Zellers version, something like that," he said through a yawn.

"What? No. Rodney, no. He doesn't--" Aside from being tall. Skinny. With unruly dark hair and green eyes and... "Well, shit."

"Exactly. You're _such_ a narcissist."

"I'm not attracted to him."

"No, it's worse. You're jealous of yourself."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Oh, so now I have to make perfect sense and be brilliant after amazing sex too? You expect a lot, Colonel."

John grinned, shoved Rodney over onto his back, and draped himself over him again. "Uh huh."

Rodney grinned back at him and wrapped both arms around his neck. "You realise I have to go back to the site tomorrow. And that it's all your fault, right?"

"I'll accept responsibility on that one. And maybe go back and be a smug bastard because I know Canoc doesn't stand a chance."

"Well, just be glad that you finally stopped being stubborn," Rodney said with a smug look of his own. "I was starting to wonder if I was going to have to sleep with him, at the pace you were going."

John was quiet for a really long time, and then he tightened his arm possessively around Rodney's midsection and made a noise not unlike a growl.

"Okay, now that? Is completely sexy. I might have to start flirting with other people if it gets you to make that noise. Maybe Ronon."

Which made John growl again and bite Rodney's shoulder. Hard.

Rodney just laughed and pushed his fingers into John's hair, pulling him down into a kiss. Oh yes. Definitely going to be doing that.


End file.
